Just Another XZero Fic
by The Great NeoDragon
Summary: A parody of the many trends I've found in MMX fanfictions. Zero becomes infected with the Maverick Virus and X knows just how to "cure" him! COMPLETE!
1. Just the First Chapter

****

Just Another Zero/X fic

Zero and X, the two greatest Maverick Hunters and our heroes, stood before the mouth of a gigantic cave. X stood behind Zero, gazing into the massive entrance.

"It looks scary…" X whimpered and hugged Zero's arm, uncharacteristically girlish. "Oh Zero, we should wait for the others. Those big mean mavericks could have an ambush waiting for us!"

To those words the crimson hunter licked his lips in anticipation, thinking of all the mavericks he could slaughter, "C'mon X! Lets go in and kill some mavericks!"

X stared at his friend in shock, "Zero, killing people isn't nice!"

"It is if they intend to kill you," Zero attempted to explain his bloodlust with a wave of his hand. "Think of it this way, my dear. Mavericks have the maverick virus, right?" The smaller robot responded with a vigorous nod of his head. "And the maverick virus has no cure, right?" Another nod. "Well then, wouldn't we be doing them a favor by killing them? Wouldn't you want to be killed if you were a maverick?"

"Oh, Zero!" X said, his eyes shining, "You're so smart!"

"Yes, I know," Zero responded arrogantly, passing one hand through his golden hair. "Now lets go kill some people!" With that he dashed into the cave, eager to carry out the death sentence he himself bestowed upon anyone who happened to be in the cave. 

"Wait for me!" X cried, running in after his friend…

Inside of the cave stood the infamous and mysterious Vile, waiting to ambush the ambiguously gay--I mean--heroic duo. As he waited, his glorious scheme replayed in his mind. He planned to abduct X and kill Zero, and once that was achieved, he would show his manliness to the young blue robot. Once X had seen just how manly Vile was, surely he would want to go to the violet robot's room with him and have wild passionate nookie. _How_ exactly reploids can have wild passionate nookie was beyond Vile's knowledge, but nevertheless they will have nookie!

Vile waited patiently for their arrival initially, but eventually grew bored and took off his helmet to shine it. Once he had shined the helmet enough to see his own reflection in it, he began to make his meanest "grr" faces that he planned on presenting to Zero and X once they finally arrived. He wasn't smart enough to realize that they would not be able to see his "grr" faces with his helmet on. Eventually he too grew tired of that and started making silly faces into the reflection of his helmet. He was crossing his eyes and sticking his tongue out when Zero and X walked in.

"Um…wait, hold on a sec…" Vile swiftly placed his helmet upon his head and glare menacingly at his adversaries. 

"Oh, it's just _you_!" Zero said with a wave of his hand.

"Vile…!" X whimpered, once again holding onto Zero's arm.

Vile blanched, "What do you mean it's 'just me'?! Grr! It is I, Vile! Zero, fear me! X, want me!" He struck a pose with the intent to strike fear and awe. However, with his hands on his hips and his chest pushed forward, he looked quite…

"Gay!" Zero laughed hysterically, gesturing at the smaller robot. "Don't drop the soap around you! Bwahahaha!!"

"You're one to talk! With your long blonde hair and green boobs I thought you were a chick when I first saw you!" Vile screeched.

"No you didn't just insult my beautiful, gorgeous, flowing blonde hair! Blasphemy! Die bitch!" Zero cried as he pulled his arm out from X's grasp and charged at his nemesis, beam sabre in hand! Vile responded by firing his shoulder canon. Zero dodged around the beams and upon reaching Vile proceeded to beat the crap out of him. After a pathetically easy battle, Zero stood over Vile's twitching corpse. "No one insults the hair and gets away with it!"

"Zero!" X cried, running to his best friend's side. He grabbed Zero's sword arm, where there was a small cut with sparks shooting out. "You're hurt!"

"It's nothing, X," Zero waved his other hand. "A minor scratch, it'll heal on its own." X shook his head stubbornly.

"You could get infected by the Maverick Virus!" X cried, "You gotta go to the repair center immediately!" With a frustrated growl, Zero pulled his arm out from the smaller robot's grasp.

"I'm fine!" Zero roared. "Now lets get out of here."

With a small injury like Zero's, the chances of getting the Maverick virus was pretty slim, but of course Zero ended up getting infected by the virus anyway. However it was difficult for the crimson reploid to even know he had it. The symptoms of the Maverick Virus included a sudden bloodlust, hatred of the world and the impulsion to kill anything moving around him. But Zero felt this way normally, which was why the virus was so hard to detect in him.

The infected hunter was walking down the hallway, looking for something to kill when suddenly…

"Hi Zero!" X said cheerfully while skipping down the hallway.

"Hey X!" Zero called back in mock cheerfulness. As the smaller robot skipped by, he turned and looked at X's ass. "Mmm…X…"

"What?" X turned to face his friend, completely oblivious to the lust in persimmon hunter's eyes.

"Oh, uh, nothing!" Zero quickly said, one hand behind his head. He suddenly laughed maniacally and ran away.

"That was weird…" X scratched his head with his arm canon. "I'd better tell Dr. Cain about this!"

"It looks like Zero's got the Maverick Virus…" Dr. Cain concluded with a shake of his head. X was sitting in a chair before the professor's desk, dressed in a black dress and veil as if he was in a funeral.

"No, my poor dear Zero!" X bawled. A sweat drop formed on Dr. Cain's brow.

"Um…there is a way to save him!" Dr. Cain said.

"What is it?" X asked, raising his head to regard the decrepit old man…

Zero was walking down the hall when suddenly a little boy came out of nowhere and walked up to him.

"You're my hero! Will you sign my autograph Mr. Zero?" the little boy asked pleasantly. Zero whipped out his beam sabre and sliced the boy's head off. He continued to walk down the hallway when a little puppy came from nowhere. The little pooch rubbed up against the robot's leg, its tail wagging happily. Zero promptly kicked the puppy out of the way and proceeded down the hallway.

"Zero!" the crimson maverick turned to face his emasculate partner. "Zero! Listen to me! You've got the Maverick Virus!"

"What?!" Zero snarled. "I do not!"

Upon reaching Zero, X grabbed onto his hands, "Yes you do, and there's only one thing that we can do to save you!"

Zero groaned, but decided to humor the younger reploid, "What is it, then?"

"We must have wild sex!" X said. Zero suddenly smiled.

"You're right, X. I have been feeling a little more…excited then usual…" Zero led X to his bedroom, where they proceeded to have bestial, erotic copulation in eight different positions - some including whipped cream, chocolate fudge and rice crispy treats. After their twelve hours of screwing like bunnies, they laid in afterglow. Suddenly, Vile blew a hole in the wall with his shoulder canon and jumped into the room.

X screamed like a little girl and ran around the room, still butt-ass naked. Zero growled and called his armor. Vile noticed X running around the room in the buff and proceeded to drool until he drowned in his helmet. Zero took this time to beat the snot out of the snot-less android and once again leaving his twitching corpse on the ground. The crimson reploid then grabbed onto the still screaming X and teleported out.

They teleported into a lush forest just on the outskirts of Capcom. X looked around for a second, dazed by the sudden change of scene, then threw his arms around Zero. "You saved me! My hero!"

A blushed crept into the taller robot's cheeks, "Uh…y-yeah…well, you saved me too, in more then one position too!"

X let go of his friend and realized that he was still in his birthday suit, "Oops, I guess I should have called my armor, huh?"

"Well…I certainly don't mind, and you gave Vile one hell of a shock!" Zero commented. "Since we now have nothing better to do, wanna have more nookie?"

"Oh Zero," X purred, "You're so romantic!"

And the two proceeded to have wild, passionate coition in four different position with the forest animals eventually joining in.

The End.


	2. Just Another Chapter

****

Just Another Chapter

"Zero! X! Come immediately!" Dr. Cain bellowed into the intercom. Of course our heroes raced into the room. However X had just stepped out of the shower when the orders were announced and was too stupid to think to dress first. Zero may not mind X running in butt-ass naked, but Dr. Cain wasn't too thrilled with it.

"Ahem…" Dr. Cain averted his gaze. "We just dug up some capsules outside and I thought that you should check them out. Especially you, X"

X nodded, "Yes, Dr. Cain. We'll go immediately!" He and Zero were just about to dash out of the room when…

"X!" Dr. Cain suddenly called. The little blue reploid turned to regard him. "Put some clothes on first…"

A flush crept into X's cheeks, "Oops, guess I forgot…"

Zero sighed, "X, you're such a puss."

Sigma scowled when Vile did not return from his previous mission. Apparently Zero must have kicked his ass again.

"Damn it, if Vile can't beat their ass, I will!" Sigma vowed. "Here I come, X!"

Although there had been no sign of X's former brethren the many years he had been alive, Dr. Cain just happened to find them buried just outside of the Hunter Base. The scientists and reploids together dug up four capsules: Megaman, Protoman, Roll and Rush.

"What the heck?" Zero stared at the Megaman robot. "I thought he was you?" He gestured to X. X tilted his head slightly with confusion.

"So did I…" X mumbled, scratching his head.

"Lets find out," Dr. Cain activated the four robots.

Megaman yawned and stretched, arching his hip girlishly. Zero turned to look at X, "He's definitely your younger self."

"Where are we?" Protoman asked, looking around at his new surroundings.

"Come with me, and I'll explain," Dr. Cain offered as he guided the four new robots into the building. X watched them leave when suddenly-

Vile jumped down from nowhere, "Damn it all, I will kick Zero's ass and lay X if it's the last damn thing I do!"

"Oh God…" Zero rolled his eyes, exasperated, "Don't you ever stay dead?!!!"

A tear fell from the visor…how that was achieved no one knows but it was achieved nonetheless. X glared at Zero, "Zero! You hurt his feelings!"

"X…" Zero groaned as he turned to face the smaller reploid, "He's a maverick, mavericks don't have feelings…"

"Tell that to him…" X gestured behind Zero. The crimson hunter turned to see Vile sitting down a few yards away, crying.

"Bitch…" Vile sniffled. "You don't ever stay dead either…"

Suddenly, Dr. Cain bursted from the doors to the Hunter Base. "X! Zero! Come quick! Sigma's inside the base, raising hell!"

"We're on our way!" Zero declared as he dashed into the building, X on his heels.

Dr. Cain breathed in relief when he suddenly noticed Vile sitting there. He was still crying. "Um…guys? You forgot to kill Vile here…" He turned to look at the small reploid. "You're not gonna kill me, are you?"

"Where is he?" Zero demanded as he saw Double standing there.

"He's downloading the maverick virus into the main computer!" Double screamed. He then ran away and jumped out the window.

X ran over to the computer and started typing in it. "Then all we have to do is tell it to abort download." Suddenly the computer asked for a password. "I have to figure out what Sigma's password would be." He started entering any password that he could imagine Sigma using, from 12345 to Maverick to Barbie… Zero stared at him. "What?"

"Let me try," Zero pushed X off of the seat and started typing in passwords of his own, most of them consisting of less than favorable choice of words. Suddenly, upon entering one password, the computer began loading. "Is that it? Did I get it?" Suddenly, a big middle finger came up on the screen, along with Sigma's evil laughter.

"You'll never get my password in time!" Sigma's voice came from the computer.

Abruptly Vile ran in, "That's it! I'm done playing nice guy! Now some bodies are gonna be hitting the floor!" He lunged at Zero's throat, but the red hunter simply stepped back and Vile missed completely, ramming into the computer and landing on the keyboard.

"Password correct," all three reploids turned and stared at the computer as the download was aborted. Sigma suddenly teleported into the room.

"Damn it all!" Sigma roared, "You blew my plan to hell!" A tear fell from the evil maverick's eye. "I wanted to virus your computer, thereby proving my worth to my secret love…" X, Zero and Vile stared at him. "What?! Just because I'm an evil Maverick Overlord who has died and come back six different times doesn't mean that I can't love too!" Sigma scowled. "But now I'll have to propose to my one true love anyway and hope that he'll take me." He suddenly kneeled down before Vile, pulling a ring out from his pocket.

"What?!" Vile cried, his eyes bugging out, "Me?!"

"I know we've both died countless times, but at least we can say that our love is eternal. I know we're both evil, but at least we can say that our love holds no bounds," Sigma said, his tone soft and poetic. "Vile, will you marry me and bare my children?"

"Oh, Sigma!" Vile squealed as he threw his arms around the taller maverick. "Yes, Sigma, yes!"

"I thought he wanted you?" Zero said as he looked to X.

"Why don't you ever write me poetry like that?" X cried, tears in his eyes.

"You're all invited to the wedding!" Vile squealed as he gave them wedding invitations. Where those wedding invitations came from nobody knows, maybe he pulled them out of his ass?

"Now lets go back to the castle and have wild premarital sex!" Sigma suggested huskily as he picked up Vile and teleported away.

"That was downright disturbing…" Zero said with a nod of his head.

X examined the wedding invitation, "I'm going to have to find a nice dress for the wedding…" A sweat drop formed on Zero's brow…

"Where did your former brethren go?" Zero asked, looking around for them.

"Dr. Cain said that they ran away as soon as they saw Sigma. They've got to be around here somewhere…" X said. He opened one of the doors and peered inside. The visual struck him like a visual blow. It was all four of them having a big orgy. "Hey! Stop that! You're all siblings for God's sake! Well except for you, Rush, you're a dog. But still that's wrong!"

It was quite a disturbing image, but it did give Zero an idea. A lewd smile crept into his visage as he snatched X's hand and pulled him into the room with his horny former brethren…

Epilogue

Sigma and Vile got married a few weeks later with Zero as the best man and X as the bridesmaid. Rush was the ring bearer, Roll was the flower girl, and Protoman and Megaman were too busy having wild passionate nookie in the men's room to do anything. A few months Vile became pregnant and had a baby named Dynamo. They lived happily ever after.

Megaman, Roll and Protoman continued to have passionate relations (sometimes including Rush). But one day Roll turned up pregnant and now they're going on Maury to find out who the father is.

Dr. Cain, being a nasty decrepit old man and one of the only humans, was doomed to find love only in his hand.

Double was found splattered on the floor from his five-story fall. The scientists used him for spare parts.

X and Zero continued to be best friends with benefits, having occasional bestial copulations. They too lived happily ever after.

Fin


End file.
